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Learning to Be Kind to Yourself

I’ve spent most of my life being harder on myself than anyone else ever could be. And let’s be real: that’s saying something, because the world isn’t exactly gentle with people like us. But somewhere along the way - between the chaos of my twenties, the grief of the 80s, the slow burn of adulthood, and the ongoing wrestling match with depression and anxiety - I realized something I wish I’d learned decades earlier. Being kind to yourself isn’t indulgent. It isn’t selfish. It isn’t weakness. It’s survival. And yet, it’s one of the hardest damn things to do. We’re taught from a young age to push, to strive, to hustle, to “be strong,” to “shake it off,” to “get over it.” We’re told that rest is laziness, that vulnerability is embarrassing, that asking for help is some kind of moral failure. And if you grow up queer in the era I did, you learn to armor up even more. You learn to anticipate judgment before it arrives. You learn to apologize for taking up space. You learn to turn the kn...

Trans Rights Are Human Rights. Full Stop.

Trans Rights Are Human Rights. Full Stop. I have been thinking a lot about what it means to live in a country that claims to value freedom and equality while actively stripping both away from some of its most vulnerable people. And let me be clear right from the start. Transgender rights are human rights. There is no debate to be had. There is no moral gray area. There is no version of justice that excludes transgender people from dignity, safety, or equality. Yet here we are, again, watching a second Trump administration continue the same pattern of hostility toward transgender people that we saw the first time around. Policies, proposals, and public statements that target transgender Americans have not slowed down. They have intensified. The message is loud and clear. Some people in power believe transgender people should not exist in public life. And I am tired of it. I am tired of pretending this is anything other than what it is. A targeted attack on human beings who deserve b...

The Shame of American Christianity

The Shame of American Christianity I am not a Christian. I do not belong to any church, and I do not speak from inside the faith. What I am is an observer. A witness. Someone who has spent a lifetime watching American Christianity from the outside and trying to make sense of the enormous gap between the teachings of Jesus and the behavior of many who claim to follow Him. And from where I stand, that gap is not a crack. It is a canyon. Even as an outsider, I can see the beauty in the teachings of Jesus. Compassion. Humility. Justice. Mercy. Feeding the hungry. Caring for the poor. Loving your neighbor. Loving your enemy. These are powerful, transformative ideas. They are the kind of values that could change the world if people actually lived them. But that is not what I see in much of American Christianity today. What I see instead is a faith tangled up in politics, power, and money. A faith that often behaves in ways that look nothing like the man it claims to follow. And the shame of...